happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize
