omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize