**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i need an iv and a liver transplant
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
