Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
