My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
