so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
