they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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