Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
