Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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