there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
