C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
