you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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