This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
