you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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