He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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