this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Randomize
