This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
