normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
