is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
