One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
