Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
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