You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
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