i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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