Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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