Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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