Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
