am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
