me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
