This is not my ceiling
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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