is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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