Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
