Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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