So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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