How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
