I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
