omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
