He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
