But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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