All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
