i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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