No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
