I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
