All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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