Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
3pm strippers are depressing
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
