I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
