HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
