that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
