I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
