Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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