dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
