just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize