oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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