Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
