So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
