I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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