Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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