Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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