and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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