Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
