I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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